Ah Cocaine. What a wonderful journey we’ve had with you since, well since we realised you could make people fucked up. This article (unconventional as it may be) is dedicated to the characters who have given us endless entertainment thanks to the white stuff. I’ve got the drip going on just thinking about it! Lets see what we came up with.
Eddie Adams aka Dirk Diggler in Boogie Nights (1997)
Now, we’re not idiots. When somebody breaks into the entertainment industry, sure there might be a little blow here and there. However, when your doing it to the extent where your epic cock can no longer stand to attention, you know you should cut back a little.
George Jung in Blow (2001)
George Jung, he’s good at what he does. After boasting he “Once killed 10 grams in 10 minutes”, we can see why he has made the list. Sure he had a mini heart attack during the joyous occasion which was his first child’s birth…….. but we can forget about that.
Mia Wallace in Pulp Fiction (1994)
Our first female coke head to make the list, welcome Mia. In the end she over dosed by scoffing smack up her nose which was really the ‘straw that broke the camels back’ and yes, we all know Tarantino’s ‘muse’ gave us the biggest fright out of any contender on this list. Lucky Marsellus didn’t find out.
Nicky Barnes in American Gangster (2007)
Now Nicky might come across as a surprise contender. However, the title of this article is ‘maddest coke heads’. When Frank visits Nicky and tells him he has to change the name of his ‘product’…… well lets just say Nicky doesn’t like being told what to do.
Frankie Wilde in It’s All Gone Pete Tong (2004)
Frankie Wilde, the partially deaf DJ first discovers his hearing problem when he fails to hear the Arsenal match he’s watching. Sounds good so far. Unfortunately for Frankie the use of Cocaine to solve the problem only made it worse and the disruptive appearance from the Cocaine Badger doesn’t help him either. He eventually fucks up his slot at Amnesia night club, in Ibiza and subsequently hurls his turn tables onto the dance floor. That pesty Cocaine Badger!
Kleinfeld in Carlito’s way
A colourful character here, not the most trustworthy but I guess that’s what coke will do to ya. This lawyer is so coked up he doesn’t know if he is coming or going. A pen-pusher he may be, but a gangster he certainly is not. Kleinfeld certainly knows one or two things about the law but when it comes from smuggling a mob boss off an island from a maximum security prison, well, he has no clue what to do. Bash his skull in maybe? Why not.
Raul Duke & Dr Gonzo in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)
Having a coke head that’s is mad is, well, mad enough. When you have two, that’s just ridiculous! However cocaine is just the beginning for these two. Their collage of narcotics is something that is not only hilarious and entertaining but somewhat stomach churning. When an entire film is from the perspective of two junkies whom are constantly baked, how can they not make the list?
Karen Hill in Goodfellas (1990)
Karen is our second female to make the cut, welcome Karen. She may have seemed like a pushover at the beginning but after being left in the dark by her husband over his line of work, a few infidelities and as much coke as she can take there is no wonder this gal made the list. After shoveling the powder up her shnoz and having being forced to hide it in her house whilst her husband goes off to play, let’s just say the crack begin to show. Take it easy Karen.
Random guy who makes Evan sing in Superbad (2007)
Cocaine does funny things to you, can even make you emotional. But when a random guy buzzing off the white stuff wants to make a socially awkward teenager sing in front of a room of strangers and succeeds, well sir, you have made the list. His brother came all the way from Scotsdale, Arizona to be there that night and if he wants ‘Jimmy’ to sing, ‘Jimmy’ will bloody well sing.
Tony Montana in Scarface (1983)
Of course Mr Montana had to make the list. The man has probably made every cocaine list since the film was released! He has to be here. When a cocaine drug lord, whom goes to war over cocaine, kills his best friend when he is on cocaine, owes his livelihood to cocaine, gets shot a gazillion times and takes it like a boss because he is high on cocaine and sticks his face in a mountain of cocaine just because he can is certainly welcome on the top maddest coke heads list. Although, probably wouldn’t introduce him to my mum.
And there you have it, the maddest coke heads we could think of in film. From drug lords to bored housewives to porn stars, a collection of coke heads through the ages. If you feel this list is not up to scratch or that you can think of other characters who you feel deserved a spot, leave a comment below.