This list took time. I put my blood, sweat and tears dwindling down a collage of classics from our childhood. There is a mix of generic kids classics and unique, niche cult flicks. When first compiling the list we withdrew inspiration from Channel 5 Sunday afternoon films that we are (now) thrilled to see when they’re on and those films that we, well, we just don’t see any more.
I’m not going to blabber on too much because I’m sure that you are just itching to check out what we came up with……Enjoy!
1. Masters of the Universe (1987)
This one was a strange one, one I wasn’t even sure I was going to put in. However, I did need to consider that this is a nostalgia list and I certainly feel that when it comes to this film. Based on the classic cult comic book figure, He-Man, we see him battling Skeletor for the key to the universe……I think. All I know is that this piece of American cheese delivered 106 minutes of confusing entertainment. Plus there was that baddie who applied too much lipstick and gave me freaky dreams, WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE PEOPLE!
2. The Brave Little Toaster (1987)
Another film that a) doesn’t really make sense, seeing as it’s a film about common household utensils getting up to weird shit, and B) is close to my heart for that exact reason. The film was actually revolutionary at Disney as it ignited their commitment to CGI, but that’s a whole different post all together.
3. Richie Rich (1994)
This film ticks so many boxes it’s a joke! Firstly it came out when I was 5, secondly it’s about a little brat who gets LITERALLY what ever he wants (including buying friends with money), thirdly he gets a fucking roller coaster for christmas, planes, vault with his face on, dog with dollar spots, fat guy who works on his toys downstairs and a butler! THE LIST GOES ON AND ON. I didn’t pick this film because of its story-line, which is great anyway, but because of the inspiration and endless daydreaming it supplied. Shame that Richie turned out to be a smack head who nobody likes but, hey, here’s to him.
4. Blank Check (1994)
Blank Check, like Richie Rich, it’s all about the do-ray-me. However, Preston, our timely protagonist ignores the whole concept of earning money. Instead he unfortunately cycles out into the road only to be hit by a crook. In his hurry, our evil son of a bitch of a baddie writes him a Blank Check. The world is now dear Preston’s oyster and with a bit of 1990’s computer trickery he writes himself a cheque for a million dollars. I won’t give too much away but our dear boy manages to snag himself a shit load of stuff for a million bucks, mesmerizing for a little kid in north west London. He also manages to get a disturbingly erotic kiss from an undercover cop……………..Nice.
5. The Never Ending Story (1984)
There’s only one way to describe this film, An acid trip for a child. The Never Ending story, I think, is about a boy who reads a book about another boy who lives in a world and mad shit happens. Listen, the films is nuts and even to this day, I’m not 100% sure what happens. What’s that you say? Nostalgia? Oh yes.
6. The Sandlot (1993)
This is by far one of my favorites. At the tender age of 10, flicking through the Disney channel I discovered The Sandlot. A 1950’s period coming-of-age drama, the film is a classic. Scotty Smalls, a geek in his own right knows nothing of baseball, but when his mother and step-father move to a small American town he is soon given a crash course by his young peers. Shit really hits the fan when Scotty, on his quest to impress, jacks his step-dads signed Babe Ruth ball and knocks it over the fence where a less than friendly ‘beast’ guards the garden. How do they get it back and how does it end? You’re just gonna have to watch and find out.
7. Heavy Weights (1995)
A masterpiece of inspiration. Heavy Weights, the story about fat kids who (sort-of) want to loose weight head to a summer camp to do exactly that. Fun, friends and good times await them, that is until new owner Ben Stiller buys the fat camp and ruins everything! Soon, our heroic fatties no longer enjoy camp. They’re hungrier than ever and action must be taken to restore the old fat regime. How they do it, however, is an entirely yummy story.
8. Mrs Doubtfire (1993)
There is something pleasurable about seeing Robin Williams’ hairy ass dress up like a Scottish pensioner. Mrs Doubtfire is not just a film. It is the child’s bible to comedy. The legendary film has horrendous lessons embedded into the plot such as, disobeying the court, lying to your children, vandalizing Mercedes’, throwing limes at people, the list continues for a while. The thing is, the story line is second-to-none. The acting (and more specifically voice impersonations) is what makes this film not only one of the greatest kid films ever made but one of THE greatest films ever made.
9. The Mighty Ducks (1992)
Pound-for-pound one of the greatest sport films ever made. When Coach Bombay get’s done for drink driving he has two choices; the slammer or pee-wee ice hockey- he wisely goes for the latter. However, trying to get a bunch of dysfunctional children to skate around productively and in a efficient manor is harder than ‘ol Bombay thought. With an eclectic mix of hilarious kids, tortured child hood memories and the guidance of an old krout, there’s no wonder this film shoots and scores. quack, quack, quack QUACK, QUACK, QUACK!!!
10, Hook (1991)
Destined for success. Simple as. With Spielberg at the helm, Williams flying though the air, Hoffman scaring the shit out of us, the late, great Bob Hoskins popping in and out, Julia Roberts zipping around as Tinkerbell and incredibly composed music courtesy of John Williams, we can see why. Capitalizing on the already successful Perter Pan tale, the story of Hook is an astounding mix of child fantasy and parent hell. When Peter Banning’s rugrats get snatched by the vengeful Hook we see him dig deep into his memory to remember his days in Neverland as a lost boy. With the help of the likes of Tink (Tinkerbell), Pockets, Thud Butt and Rufio the audience follows the journey of reconciliation, family and flying. OK, I’m talking shit, I just can’t help and feel…….NOSTALGIC!
So here’s to another TOP 10 rapped up. I can tell you dear followers, it has been an absolute pleasure to write and my memory is buzzing with excitement. What to do now? Watch Robin Williams make himself an old lady mask of course. Be sure to check out more TOP 10’s like 10 AWESOME SPORTS DOCUMENTARIES YOU CAN CATCH ON YOUTUBE or 10 THINGS IN FILM THAT EVERY BLOKE WANTS
All comments welcome below of course!