Rut Dog Of The Week: Hunt To Kill

This weeks rut dog sees Stone Cold Steve Austin, formally WWF Wrestler; turn his sights to acting, if you can call it that. He plays US boarder patrol agent Jim Rhodes in what can only be described as the antithesis of B-movie, straight to DVD action trash. If you haven’t seen a film with Steve Austin in yet but you love a classic doggy, this movie this will be right up there as one of the worst or best rut dogs you will have seen for a long time, depending on which way you look at it. Even if you don’t like films like this it has to be seen to be believed and if nothing else it is a master class in how filmmaking should not be done. Then again how would we know what is good if we had nothing bad to compare it to?

 

Unsurprisingly the plot is rather generic and very thin. Stone Cold is a divorced single dad struggling to bring up his rebellious teenage daughter who for some reason he just cant seem to find common ground with. Oh yeah and he is grieving the death of his partner who was killed in a raid that went wrong because they decided to go in straight away, instead of waiting 5 minutes for backup to arrive. Obviously Stone Cold ultimately blames himself for this and it weighs heavy on his conscience. This I suppose is an attempt to make Jim Rhodes a more three dimensional character, which of course it doesn’t.

 

On a hunting trip / an attempt to bond with his daughter, they stumble across a group of fugitives on the run from the law who take them hostage and force Stone Cold to use his master tracking skills to make their way through the wilderness. You can probably guess the rest of the story from here, Stone Cold vows to get his daughter out of harms way taking the bad guys out one at a time, in a series of ludicrous ways, escalating each time with the climactic moment coming in the form of Stone Cold pulling a wheelie on a quad bike, driving it into the bad guy, pinning him against a wall and then proceeding to shoot said quad bike with a flair to blow it up, before this uttering the immortal line “When I hunt, I hunt to kill”.

 

Gladiator this isn’t, but watching Stone Cold bumble around for 90 minutes making the same confused expression to convey every emotion and fight like a massive drunk child is strangely entertaining. One of my personal highlights comes at the moment where Stone Cold falls down a ravine, which should be rewound and re-watched a few times for full hilarious effect.

 

Lets face it, no one wants much of a story line from a rut dog anyway, that would get in the way of the terrible acting, atrocious one liners and questionable action, three of the things this film has in abundance. The only thing missing is a myriad of flashbacks, usually rife in rut dogs; of which there are still a few to be seen here. If you’re in the right mind set for this one you wont be disappointed by its outrageous disregard for anything good. Stone Cold has definitely become one of my top rutdogs and if you like / loathe this one you should definitely check out ‘The Stranger’ which is perhaps more ludicrous and even worse in some respects. Check out the trailer for Hunt To Kill below.

 

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Rutdog Of the Week 28/01/13

Dear loyal followers of 3wisemen reviews, we indeed have a treat for you!

With the second installment of Rutdog of the week I have the pleasure to present to you ‘ Above the Law’ (1988 Directed by Andrew Davis and distributed by Warner Home Video). This first class trash is a Steven Seagal wonder that has an unbelievably generic and distasteful plot. So bad in fact I struggled to look away as the entertainment factor in this film is sky high, not because it is so good but because it is so bad (Rut).

Seagal plays Nicolo “Nico” Toscani, an Italian born immigrant he settles in Chicago where he obtains a keen interest in martial arts. Of course his slight interest in martial arts must dictate his future and he promptly moves to Japan to enhance his knowledge in martial arts. IT’S NOW TIME FOR NICO TO RETURN! Now that Nico is a highly trained martial artist  he is subsequently recruited into the CIA (obviously) and is then sent to Vietnam in 1973 to work on covert missions in  and around the Vietnam-Cambodia border. His superior, Zagon (Henry Silva) utilizes his position as commander to smuggle drugs back to the US. Disgusted Nico leaves the CIA to return to Chicago where he soon joins the Chicago police department.

Nico and his partner “Jacks” (Pam Grier)   investigate new drug rings in Chicago and find out that it is indeed Zagon leading the operations. After a series of epic Seagal fight scenes and many ‘tied to a chair stare offs’ Seagal escapes and takes out the drug ring.

I wish not to indulge too much into the story line as I know my faithful followers, you will be leaping out of your chairs to see this one!

Referring to Rotten Tomatoe’s I wish to leave you with a quote from them about the film ‘Woefully short on originality, intelligibility and anything resembling taste’……but hey, its Steven Seagal!

Check out the trailer attached and as always any comments are welcome.

Rutdog of the Week 20/01/13

We’ll be running a weekly addition to the blog where we put the spotlight on a movie that hasn’t had the recognition it properly deserves. These “Rutdogs” are generally piss poor actions movies that seem to star the same wooden, talentless actors who are hell bent of producing this sort of tripe over and over.

This weeks Rutdog is Universal Soldier Day of Reckoning which stars two classic Rutdog actors who between them have an impressive 107 films almost all of which are bordering on the unwatchable. The story follows John (Scott Adkins) as he hunts down Luc Deveraux (Van Damme) after he awakes from a coma to find his wife and daughter murdered by Deveraux. As if that wasn’t enough hes got to face being pursued by a relentless UniSol  (Andrei ‘The Pit Bull’ Arlovski).

I think this review from IMDB pretty much sums it up; “Do not waste your time watching this drivel. If you do not heed this warning, you too, could be left wondering how you will get that portion of your life back.” However heres the trailer for you to make your own mind up.